early-o'clock time
6:00 am: Wake Up
A very loud, very persistent, and very rude alarm sounds in your ear. Well, rise and shine, you're up. Nope, just kidding, you definitely need more sleep. Hit the snooze.

6:05 am: Wake Up Round Two
Absolutely not. Hit the snooze again.

6:10 am: Wake Up Round Three
The damn alarm won't shut up. Surrender and continue to fall out of bed - Bonus points if you land on your feet. 

6:11 am: Journey to the Kitchen
Tiptoe past your sleeping parents bedroom, vaguely acknowledging the fact that 99.973% of the rest of America is asleep in their warm, cozy, soft, inviting beds. Bananas. This stinks. Slump down the stairs moodily.

6:15: Breakfast
Stick a piece of bread in the toaster, slap some Skippy Super Crunch Peanutbutter on it, stuff it in the general direction of your face, and hope that the majority of it lands in your mouth. Swallowed? Fantastic! So far, so good. Top that delicious toast off with a banana and a glass of water and you are fueled up for the next few hours. 

6:25-6:45: Everything Else
Dress, brush teethfacehair, assemble necessary items (food, Swiss Army harvest knife and sheath, self) and insert into car. Pump up the jams and you are off to work! 

7:00 am: Gather Round
Assemble outside with the rest of your farmer coworkers in a circle. Zone out to preserve energy while the plan for the day is discussed (paying attention requires too much brain power).

7:15 am: Harvest
Farm! Disperse to the fields to harvest so much many yummy vegetables for the 200-300 CSA members! Within that time think about: 1. how you are working on a Sunday 2. how your office is outside = SWEET 3. food 4. the time 5. how pretty it is outside

This morning you are harvesting sunflowers! Hooray! Have fun getting soaked from dew, dodging the bees, and picking approximately 2.7 gajillion sunflowers (I counted)! Then realize it's ok because it is BEAUTIFUL out, and your are picking SUNFLOWERS. Yes, looking at flowers for 2 hours is, in fact, your job. Decide to only talk in nonsense alliterative sentences with your coworkers in medieval accents.
  • Leaping lizards licked lilies lustfully
  • The bulbous bulbosaur bounced with beautious butterflies bashfully

10:30 AM: GBT
Granola Bar Time (GBT)! Nom nom on your granola bar with a smile. Now that's good. 

10:32 AM: Harvest
Harvest more vegetables! 

1:00 PM: Lunch
Praise the farm gods! Head into the little barn and gulf down a sandwich, fruit, and whatever else you can scavenge from the fridge. Retire to the electric reclining chair and settle in for a nice nap...

The Little Barn at it's finest.
2:00 PM: Harvest
Farming time! Harvest even more vegetables. Discuss with your fellow farmers how it would probably be more time efficient for the farm to teach us "The Force" rather than farming skills. That way, we could all use "The Force" to harvest really fast. Then play Fuck, Chuck, or Marry for the next hour. 

Fuck, Chuck or Marry:
  • Jumping into an ocean/lake/pool on a really hot day
  • Taking a hot shower after being in the cold rain/snow all day
  • Peeing when you really gotta go
What would you do?

(also known as farmers brain, also known as heat exhaustion)

6:30 PM: Wash-up
Super speed time! Do everything at superpower speed to get everything done before 7. 

7:00 PM: DONE!
aaaaaand exhale. Days done. Go home, eat, shower, pass out.

Happy farming!


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